relationship

riddle

“You see, when you and I, that time, I was afraid it will not work out. We are like a universe apart. You don’t deserve me. I am workaholic. I thought to marry someone I like and someone who is from here, so that I know the relationship will work out. I grew fond of that someone and learned to love that person later on. But despite the fact that we are on the same country, the same land under the same sky, it still did not work out.

My side is I did not want to waste your time or our time because we are a world apart. And I am sure you know that it’s not easy, and it’s true. I was afraid to take the risk of moving on with our situation because I have always been told that long distance relationship never works. Sometimes, I wonder how to solve or find answers to the mystery I find in my own life. With my profession, things like such should be easy to comprehend. But no.”

Thoughts? Send it to info.thecuriousme@gmail.com

closure

I woke up this morning feeling awful… I had a terrible “nightmare”. The weather didn’t help either… It’s so cloudy and drizzling. It made feel more down than ever. Sigh… Ok, I’ll stop whining. :p

Going back to the terrible nightmare… it was something to do with the person close to my former special someone. In my dream, that person was asking if I’m alright and if I have already moved on. I can’t remember the rest but the impact of that dream is absolutely mind-blowing and heart breaking.

I was disconcerted when I woke up because I thought it was real. O_O I did some soul searching when I was on my way to work and one thing that hit me most is, people tend to forget the following things when things get sour:

Whether in friendship or in a relationship, a good closure is very critical in order to “healthily” move on and have a peace of mind.

If the person involved doesn’t want to accept the closure, be considerate. Give that person a time in order to digest things. In my point of view, one month is more than enough. However, be firm with the decision to end things.

If things get out of hand and the other person becomes absolutely unreasonable and turns into a “wacko” (see related article -> prison cell), ask help from the Police.

To move forward in a flash, cut all possible communication with that person. It can be email, chat, text/sms, phone call or even with that person’s closest friends.

For work related issues such as quitting from a job, it’s always recommended not to burn bridges.

And most of all, have a heart to heart talk with Big Bro!

P.S.
Have I moved on? YES.
Since when? After it ended.

How about you? :p

wait or give up?

Something to ponder on from @thenotebookoflove… Here you go:

“In the end, we only regret the chances we didn’t take, relationships we were afraid to have, and the decisions we waited too long to make.

If you like me, *TELL* me. If you miss me, *SHOW* it. If you love me, *PROVE* it.

Long distance relationships will only work if you both trust one another and love one another. It won’t be easy.

The worst feeling ever is not knowing whether you should wait or give up, give up or wait.”

“no broken promises”

Now being tipsy makes me sentimental. :p More quotes from the @thenotebookoflove… Here you go:

“When you’re important to someone, they will always find a way to make time for you. No excuses, no lies, and no broken promises.

There always gonna be someone prettier than you, you just gotta find the one guy that doesn’t care.

Commitment doesn’t mean sticking to one person forever, it means keeping a relationship with someone even though you have lots of options.

Go for someone who is not only proud to have you, but will also take every risk and chance just to be with you.

Someone who really loves you sees what a mess you can be, how moody you can get, how hard you are to handle, but still wants you in their life.”

make it real!

Please allow me to share with you several heartfelt quotations from the twitter account @notebookoflove.

“It’s not about how much you SAY you care, it’s how much you SHOW that you care.”

“LADIES: the proof of passion is in the pursuit. If a man really wants to be with you, he will find a way.”

“Love doesn’t need a reason, it speaks from the irrational wisdom of the heart.”

“iloveyou is better without spaces; no room for lies.”

“Every relationship is a mirror, what do you see?”

“Mean what you say and say what you mean.”

——————————
This is for you and you.
(you know who you are)

Ponder ponder! :p

ticktack!

“Love is not equal to pity.

If you want to end the relationship but you are scared you will hurt the other person, think about hurting him the most if you keep on delaying.

Time is essential. Don’t deprive him and yourself the chance to find true happiness.
*** By not quitting soon, the time spent to be with your true love is lessened.

The clock is ticking.”

– excerpt from the “prison cell” article from thecuriousme.com

viewpoint

courtesy of dreamstime.com — love triangle

Ready?
(Note: Check out the article “baffled?” for a sneak preview of this article.)

Mitch (served as the moderator)

Pro Yno
believed that Yno can take care of the relationship better than Alex.

Scott

made an effort to be neutral but obviously Pro Alex
hoped that Yno is the type who’s there even if how many years have passed like Alex

Robert

clearly Pro Alex

TheCuriousMe

cautiously Pro Yno

Below are insights of the “relationship council” about the issue:
(Just a heads up, Mitch and Scott preferred to throw more facial expressions than comments.)

In the end, what’s important the most is the guy who accepts Buffy’s imperfections and will move the earth just to be with her. And of course, the love should be mutually shared by both parties.(found in cool vs class)

Darn! Be it Korean, Taiwanese, Singaporean, Filipino and American TV Series… it seems like this is even better than all the TV Series that I’ve watched! Whoa! I wonder what will be the ending of this intricate love story?

Will Buffy end up with Alex? or
Will Buffy end up with Yno? or
Will Buffy end up with someone else?
Will Buffy end up unattached?

What’s your take on this? 😉

situation 1

“The communication between the guy and the lady resurrected after few months. An opportunity paved the way for them to be in the same time zone in which gave the guy a chance to visit the lady and “propose”. Is it happily ever? 😉 Think again… Last minute, the guy chicken out due to petty (childish) reason. O_O ” (found in my thoughts… exactly!)

Scott: It will make anyone wonder what Yno would have done.

Robert: Imagine how boyish it would be to approach the girl and the guy is already pissed. Of course, he will most probably blurt out in front of other people “what are you doing and who is this guy?”
Considering the fact that Alex is more of a serious type person and a lawyer, if I were him, I would have probably taken things literally.

TheCuriousMe: Thats the point, he’s a lawyer. He should very well know that there’s always the other side of the coin. You cannot give a verdict based on a circumstancial evidence. You have to see both sides.

go back to viewpoint

situation 2

Alex is expressing his intent to reunite with Buffy after several years of being “apart”.
Yno yearns to be a part of Buffy’s life
Buffy is somewhat growing closer to Yno but trying to restrain herself because things seem to be bizarre at the moment.

together

Robert:
I have ended a relationship before and I’m a man. I could simply move on real quick because it didn’t affect me or I cannot move on and can’t let go because I still want the girl back.

Buffy is being too hard to herself. She is driving Alex away because of bitterness or anger. And there’s a bit of denial on that.

TheCuriousMe:
May the best man wins! Obviously Alex and Yno are just more on hype. No concrete action. They should buck up!

go back to viewpoint

situation 3

Why don’t just Alex muster up the courage to go to Buffy’s place directly talk to her?

courtesy of http://www.animalclipart.net — bok bok bok!

Robert: How will Alex do that now when it shows that Buffy is already entertaining Yno? I’m a guy, I would be crushed.

TheCuriousMe: Alex chickens out easily. Possibly, Yno is also a chicken in the making.

go back to viewpoint

situation 4

What should Buffy do?

courtesy of http://www.123rf.com/stock-photo/emoticon%3B.html — think Buffy….

Robert:
Perhaps, think things through, know if her heart is in the right place in terms of anger, giving a chance, denial, what does she really want, etc

Remember, there are things, places, people or events that act as the path – they could direct her to where she should be.

It does not and never always meant that she stays there.
Maybe Buffy met Yno to bring back Alex to her.
(TheCuriousMe: or the other way around?)

They don’t always tell you that they are the right one.
Remember, you meet several guys before you meet the right person.

TheCuriousMe:
Buffy should be wise enough to discern to follow her heart and her mind.
Both guys should prove their sincerity by talking to Buffy directly. Moreover, the guy who deserves Buffy is someone who’s willing to be with her (wherever she is) and help fulfill her mission.

go back to viewpoint

baffled?

I hope you all had a restful sleep and will be able to share your objective opinion on this matter. Does it sound like an international concern? Maybe… in a way. Ha!

Just a note, this is a true story.
Let’s get down to business.

Click on the links below to get the birds eye view (or should I say, “lengthy” recap? ) about this “hot” topic:

Here’s a quick tip:

Guy is Alex -> the Ex Boyfriend (“class guy”)
Lady is Buffy -> the Heroine
Antonio is Yno -> the New Guy (“cool guy”)

The challenge here is for you to connect the dots! Are you apt for it?

ISSUE:

Alex apparently wants to reunite with Buffy
Yno seemingly wants be a part of Buffy’s life
Buffy is somewhat growing closer to Yno but trying to restrain herself because things seem to be bizarre at the moment.

Consequently, Mitch, Scott, Robert and I (TheCuriousMe) had an absolutely interesting and intense exchange of ideas about the issue. To be honest, I thought the above subject has already been settled but it was re opened one night and then the discussion continued the next morning.

The statement that really left a mark is:

“Know if your heart is in the right place…”

Hmmm… let’s leave it here for the moment. That will leave you time to ponder. Don’t get frustrated. 🙂 Viewpoints of the four (4) “relationship council” will be shared shortly. Until then! 😉

mission

I was “channel hopping” when I chance upon “Jillian Namamasko Po“, a television show from the Kapuso network in the Philippines last December 2010. Jillian is a doll who wishes to become a full-fledged human being. In order to attain this, she needs to fulfill “assigned” missions. The twists:

she needs to figure out what that mission is
she will only be directed to another mission once the current mission is already accomplished

It struck me that Jillian symbolizes every one of us. Aspirations can be achieved either:

smoothly or
we need to pass through the eye of a needle before attaining it or
no matter how we exert all our effort, it will be futile.

I remember in my first job, I was at the school director’s office every year to submit my resignation letter. Teaching is a noble profession but I wanted to re-align my career path be a software developer… but I can’t seem to “break free”. It’s only on the 3rd year that I was able to get out from it and magically landed on another job… which is teaching. Long story…

Relationship wise, I met someone whom I treasured dearly and was looking forward to spend the rest of my life with… then again, no matter how we did our best to keep the fire burning and work things out, we kept going back to square one. It’s a vicious cycle that drained the hell out of me (and him).

Relationship, work related issues, and friendship may come and go no matter you hold on. Acceptance and pain might be tough but in due time, a new relationship will blossom, a new job can be found, and a new friendship will be formed. However, health condition and family matters cannot be replaced and it should be treasured like a delicate figurine.

Every stages and experiences are all necessary in order for us to become diamonds in our own right. We may not understand the reasons now, but the dots will be connected when the right time comes. Let’s fulfill our designated missions with open heart and open mind as well as forget the “what if” and “should have been” part.

As they say… is it mission impossible or mission possible? Aja!

cool vs class

According to Robert E, cool guys are everywhere but class guys are endangered species. He further explained that cool guys are womanizers in general…while there are some that are not but most of them are.

Robert E also pointed out that class guys are not expected to be cool. Though they will try but it will not come naturally. Iit made me wonder, is cool guy synonymous to bad guy and the class guy refers to good guy? Ponder, ponder… Hmmm…

On the other hand, Mitch cited that a concrete example of cool and class guy are Yno (cool) and Alex (class). The heroine in this love triangle is Buffy. Buffy first “met” Alex and Yno came along unexpectedly. One thing to note is that Alex and Buffy were no longer an item when she “met” Yno.

At this point, it seems like Alex attempt to be reunited with Buffy is futile because Buffy and Yno have undeniably “something special” going on.

Here’s a scenario to think about:
Buffy can be herself with Yno. She can be sarcastic, grumpy, emotional, happy, childlike, etc. Surprisingly, Yno knows how to deal with it. And if Buffy is out of the line, Yno will tell her point-blank and vice versa.

With Alex, it seemed to be surreal where everything is revolving in a virtual world. Alex does not directly communicate with Buffy so the communication alone is absolutely unstable.

At any rate, whether class or cool it really doesn’t matter. In the end, what’s important the most is the guy who accepts Buffy’s imperfections and will move the earth just to be with her. And of course, the love should be mutually shared by both parties.

Agree or disagree? :p

twisted stories

Brady is in a relationship with Ellen for five years. On their 4th year, Brady met and had a relationship with Trixie. At that time Brady had both Ellen and Trixie in his life. Ellen did not know that Trixie existed but Trixie knew that Brady is in a relationship with Ellen.

Trixie got tired of the situation and she asked him to choose between Ellen and her. Brady said he can’t leave Ellen because they’ve been together for five years and so on and so forth.

Trixie got fed up and broke up with Brady. However, Brady doesn’t want to let go of Trixie. After so much drama, Brady decided to work overseas, called it quits with Ellen and broke up with Trixie as well.

During Brady’s emotional struggle, Sophie (whom he met in a gathering) became his shoulder to cry on. The constant togetherness blossomed into a relationship. Brady and Sophie were inseparable. Later on, Sophie discovered that Brady got back with Trixie. As expected, Trixie doesn’t know of Sophie’s existence.

Sophie broke up with Brady but he doesn’t want to let her go. Sophie being a soft hearted person (and stupid!), she reconciled with Brady. After he got back from his holiday with Trixie, Brady immediately met up with Sophie and proposed marriage. Sophie declined and requested him to carefully think about it.

He explained that he doesn’t feel any magic with Trixie. He even whined that the money he spent during the holiday with Trixie is not worth it (O_O). At that time, Sophie was getting to her senses and decided to sent him a break up email for a change. Like the other attempted break ups, it did not materialize.

What Sophie really wanted was for Brady to choose between her and Trixie and stick to that decision. The most irritating part was, Brady wanted to keep them both. What a selfish mammal!

The cycle of break up and getting back together went on and on. Sophie was already emotionally drained and exhausted with the situation. One day, Brady sent a text message to Trixie which was intended for Sophie. Alas! It must have been a Divine intervention.

Trixie asked what’s the message all about. And guess what, he lied again and told her that the message was for his niece, blah blah blah. Trixie was getting suspicious and Sophie decided it’s high time to discuss things directly with her. Sophie chatted with Trixie and even dared Brady for the three of them to have a conference in order to clear the air. Brady chickened out (what a loser!).

Sophie explained everything to her and even asked Trixie to help her and get Brady to stop pestering her. Sophie mentioned the numerous break ups they had but Brady doesn’t want to let her go.

In the course of discussion, Sophie found out that Brady and Trixie were singing different tunes. Sophie told Trixie the things that Brady told her and it was completely different from Trixie’s version. Sophie and Trixie clarified and settled the issues.

The next day, Sophie bluntly asked Brady why his version of the story was different from Trixie’s. Of course, Brady is synonymous to lies… as expected, he tried to cover up his lies with another series of lies. After billion lies, he finally admitted his fault and he mentioned that he can never lie to Sophie. This time, Sophie was adamant to end the relationship and cut all forms of communication.

Sophie thought everything was already settled. The irony of it was, after few weeks, Trixie sent Sophie a hurtful email accusing her of holding on to Brady among other things. Sophie was surprised with the content of the email… thus, she confronted Brady about it. It turned out, Brady was the one who can’t let go and even resorted to stalking Sophie.

As to clarify the matter, Sophie asked Brady to talk to Trixie and tell her everything what they have discussed. As usual, “no balls” Brady refused and did his favorite past time… twisting stories to save his ass. Sophie realized that it’s a waste of time talking to Brady and Trixie so she opted to keep quiet and let nature takes its course.

It’s evident that Brady is a two face creature who portrays a goody and angelic role in front of his work and religious group… and his other side is a scheming, selfish and rotten creature.

He’s a beast, full of shit, who can’t seem to live a day in his life without inventing stories just to save his ass and make him the hero of all heroes.A pretend superhero who’s fond of looking for scapegoats and doesn’t have the balls to face the consequences of his actions.

Well, as they say, what goes around, comes around.
Careful careful! :p

Lesson Learned:
Two face creatures exist.
Be alert, wolves in sheeps clothing are on the loose.